Updates

 Well, it's been quite some time since I posted anything here. Reasons for my coming back are-

1. I also stopped diary writing and forgot to get the one I maintained with me to Italy.

2. If my diary is left home and found by someone, by the nature of human curiosity it gets read so might as well write stuff here.

3. I am feeling a little lost for some days and thought this might help get my mind back in its place.

Some things that should be known, and have occurred since the last post-

1. I got accepted to study medicine at UNIVPM in Italy. So I am a med student now.

2. Naturally, I am in Italy.

3. I am alone and finding my way through life as an individual, so that's fun...

Anatomy is kind of difficult, especially since the Professor doesn't upload slides until she is done with the entire topic, hence revisiting concepts the same day is a bit of an issue. Also, it is complex.

Biochemistry is very boring, since its 80% the same stuff as grade 11 and 12 but in more detail and randomly gets very detailed so you tend to miss important stuff. Again, slides aren't uploaded.

We have a subject called Bioethics and Narrative Medicine which goes into the more humane aspects of our training as medical professionals. But it's kind of boring since the topic demands discussion and interaction and the Professor mainly wants to finish reading the slides. Not his fault entirely since its his 1st time teaching this topic as well, but still boring for me, nonetheless. 

Histology is one subject, that despite its complexities, is proving to be very enjoyable. I feel it is because it feels more like studying medicine than anything else right now and also, we have labs for it so that's great too.

Managing, cooking, cleaning, and all things necessary for life along with studies is getting a little troublesome as well. But for now the exams are still a bit far so we are not 'cooked' yet. I sometimes feel like I don't have a direction to what I'm doing, and that's not a good feeling. The occasional episodes of loneliness also engulf me, but they have been going on before I came here so, I guess its just part of what happens when you are growing as a person. 

I also get the feeling that I'm not doing enough or that people around me are doing more stuff than me, that giving them more value as a person. Example being, I have a friend who takes tuition for students almost every day before class, waking up at 4am for this. Another one, has a knack for knitting and makes and has sold a crochet item after coming here. Not to mention both are also good in studies and have surpassed my score in the 1st semester exam of Physics and Chemistry. And then I think about what I am doing. Nothing else but studies, that too not better than them. I also can't connect with people easily. People just are into the kind of stuff I don't have the slightest clue about. Manga, Anime, songs from bands I've never heard of, and most important, Gossip. I never have understood why back talking is such a thing that everyone enjoys. I mean if you have an issue, just go and discuss to resolve it. If not, then why even bother giving your opinions? And this is actually enjoyed by people. Seems quite pointless to me. Waste of time and very unproductive. But this gives me a lot of me time, time when I'm alone and I haven't really figured out what to do in this gap. I try studying but there's only so much you can do in a class full of chatter and the time gaps are not that big either to full on study. Will have to figure something out soon.

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